Hey all you fucks, now that the peace and goodwill nonsense is all over and done with we can now move on. New Years Eve is coming up and I will be drinking the better part of a bottle of Jim Beam, they love American Whiskey down here for some reason. Needless to say I will be in no condition to talk on the phone when midnight rolls around. So that will be exactly what I do. For those of you on the westcoast it will be 4 am on the morning of the 31st and for the east it will be 7am. For mr. Duncan in Dublin I believe it will be 12 noon.

Now I am no pompous ass who assumes that you will all wait by your bedside for my call, nor do I delude myself into thinking that you will want to talk to the very drunk version of myself, he isn't very interesting.
I do, on the other hand know that malice exists in all your hearts. I also know that if each and everyone of you scrolls through your celly you will find someone who deserves a wakeup call all the way from New Zealand courtesy of drunk rob and maybe even a cameo from drunk chris.
So if anyone needs a big fuck you in this holiday season feel free to post their (or your own, if you're feeling masochistic) phone number. And I will get away with it all scot free because I will be drunk and everyone loves a drunk.

Well Merrrrrrry Christmas,

I hope this wonderful holiday finds all my friends and family in wonderful health and enjoying this day with mirth and merriment. Today, I woke up, did some dishes and then had someone cook me bacon and eggs for breakfast. It was decided we should go swimming, so a mission to the beach came next. We swam through caves and had diving competitions and played fricket. We drank beer in the sun and enjoyed ourselves.
From there we went to an 'orphans' Christmas bbq and party on this hippy commune one town over. We got back home at 10 pm. So a quick trip to the beach took nearly 8 hours.
Still trying to decide whether or not to cook something.

Peace and goodwill to all, and a very merry Christmas
Kieran if your cold, cold heart feels the need to rant and rave, feel free amigo, but I suggest a glass of red wine and place by the fire with some gifts.

Update:
If my previous posts, the above included, seem mono-theologic, it is because I am a self-centered, inconsiderate, culturally insentive (possibly culturally retarded) and a prick.

To all my wonderful non-Christian friends out there, Ben I dragged your good name through the mud a few days ago and I apologize, have a wonderful time next time your celebrating when I'm not. Be sure and get all in my face about how wonderful it is to be celebrating whatever you got going becasue I deserve it.

Dept of Boring Politics

There has been some talk among among the chattering classes that I made (what they call a typical) bangwagon jump in the final stages of the Liberal leadership, and I nearly let it all go. Lets just fill in some viewers on what is exactly bandwagon jumping.
I deserted the favourite, Ignatieff, in the waning moments of a campaign to root for not the second or even third most delegate holder, but the fourth, Dion. (I think; super delegates put him into third after the first ballot, but I could be wrong.)
That shit ain't bandwagon jumping, that's soothsaying motherfuckers.

Dept of Miscellany

Mr. Duncan, glad to hear from you, I was wondering if Europe was gonna be represented. But now that I think about it, you're probably watching a season's worth of tivo on your couch in Vancouver. I will need an address if you want a late christmas card. And you may get a stock one, because it's too damn hard to make new ones every time, but it'll still be worth it.

To Kieran and BKY2K, we all know who wins the Toronto vs. Vancouver argument: Montreal.

From the Archives:

"I hope tonigth I don't have the pathilogical urge to step on that bloody American's neck to shut him up. This place should be tranquil; it is very nice, but fucking anxiety and snoring old dudes is enough to awaken some truly evil thoughts.

Not that he would be missed he seems to have some legal trouble back home"

-Dec. 14th, Christchurch



"I just flicked a piece of snot and it may or may not have landed on Edwin the Flemish dude's bed."

-Dec. 12th, Christchurch


"It has been my experience with people that those who claim to be a certain way (almost always in the positive sense) are invariably prone to acting in a diametrically opposed fashion. I myself like to think that I am a good listener. I think that because often I am not particularly talkative; by default I must be good at listening. The truth is I simply don't talk or listen; I tune people out and let my own thoughts meander."

-Dec. 10th Kaiteriteri

this is the swamphouse on a typical wednesday. That there is an air-battle-of-the-bands.

There is an excellent shot. It's derivative, but still. Thats Ryan Adams, i know wierd those two names seem to find each other a lot. If you are wondering why I have such a gay nightclub shirt on, it's because I lacked the dexterity to actually wholly remove the shirt.

Those were taken a few weeks ago. Last night we partied in our underwear till 3. christmas cards are proceeding at a rapid pace.

Dear friends, I logged on to msn today and chatted with some home country people. I was nearly immediately disrespected in the worst kind of way and compared to Ben Kaye.

Is there no end to the assault I take?


Dave, Kieran and Liz are getting some pretty outstanding Christmas cards, the rest of you fuckers that I call friends are getting na-sing. Not fair you ask? you are the fucking nihilists, bunch of fucking crybabies.

Anyway I have made it easier for you anti-establishment types, there is no need to sign up to post now, so have at'er if that was holding you back.

As well, there is some pretty funny footage floating around out there of one Chris Rhodes and his gang. That will posted soon, so don't change the bat-channel. Its so good that I will brave the computer world and figure out how to do it. Once more unto the breach.

Merry Christmas, Happy Judaism, Way to go Muslims, I'm going to drink on the beach.

Alright.

Lets play a new game.

Everybody who posts a comment on this site gets a Christmas postcard.

Liz and Dave are automatically entered because not only are they posting regularly (somewhat) but they are also fucking rad for doing so. They rest of you free riders can kiss the free lunch goodbye. Except Kieran, because he emailed me.

Also If anyone knows Shania Twain ask her if she needs a house sitter for her summer place down here.

Life of the unemployed is as bad as a remember it, but not as bad as life of the poorly employed. Have you seen my bag of money? I left it somewhere.

Also I have been thinking, Montreal reunion tour '07, will be held (drumrolllllll)


in London. That is if Whalen is still there, I figure since you weren't at the last one, we'd bring the party to you. I'm thinking August like last year.

If you are anywhere around Malcolm Biddle or Dave Macnee ask them, in honour of me, to play that classic country tune by Johnny Paycheck, Take this Job and Shove It.

Yep, thats right ladies and gentlemen, I gave my two weeks notice. I got highfives all around from my flatmates at the swamphouse, ahh the swamphouse, thats a story for another time boys and girls, perhaps when we get broadband.

anyway, Im feeling pretty good, I might get a gig with greenpeace. But I am off to get a kebab, which is a southern hemisphere version of a shish T.

If you are into violence read Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy.